A Sinful Act

Today I committed a most sinful act.

Murder? No, the Caboose is still alive and well (though I vow that kid is on borrowed time sometimes).

Dishonoring my mother and father? Nope, if anything, merely being associated with me is the greatest honor they could ever ask for, so it is hard to see how I could ever be a source of their dishonor. I am of course kidding (except I’m really not).

Theft? Nada. Still faithfully involved with the Megatron folks, which means, sadly, no ladies hearts were stolen today.

Then what was it?!?! Tell me already!!!

Today, I signed up at Costco. Yup, I’m officially paying to shop; $45 to be precise. $45 to peruse bottles of ketchup large enough for 832 years of “my throat has been slit!” practical jokes. $45 to pick my way through buckets of M&M’s that could easily be used to create playful pits of the chocolaty candies for young children to play in. You get the idea.

Normally I wouldn’t subscribe to such a self-serving service, one designed, quite overtly, to convince people to buy more and more until there is nothing left to buy and we all sit down and weep for our empty, hollow souls that have atrophied to the point that they cannot be satisfied by the natural beauty of life. However, one of my co-workers, Licia, the girl responsible for my indoctrination into “El Culto de Costco,” mentioned that Costco was a “blue company.” (In other words, they support Democrats) Man-o-man, this changed everything. Suddenly Costco was no longer a representative of the darkside, out to seduce and reduce me, but rather a champion of the light, delivering low prices and quality products to the oppressed. Or something like that.

Anyway, the line about Costco supporting Democrats worked its magic and, before I knew it, I had signed the dotted line and become the latest individual to experience the distinct pleasure of paying to shop. I have to say though, the place does look pretty cool, and the stuff they have, especially their steaks, looks really good and is much cheaper than even Cub or Target (which I didn’t think was humanly possible). We’ll see how it goes shopping at Costco, or as Licia refers to it, the “Diamond of St. Louis Park.”

On a side note, I feel like I should apologize for all the Republican bashing and pro-Democrat rhetoric being uttered on these pages. I know that it can make those who wish to remain on the political sidelines uncomfortable to read such statements, which I would like to avoid if at all possible. However, it’s my f’n blog and I’ll write what I dang well please in it.

And with that, adieu.